How to Influence with Style

by Colin Gautrey

The desire to influence other people is a natural part of being human. The way in which you influence - your style - has been established over the years by your experience and learning. Subconsciously you will have found out what works for you. Yet each individual is different, and people will have found alternative ways to influence. Psychology suggests that when it comes to being influenced, you will be more amenable when the other person is using the style you prefer.

The implications of this are that if you want to be more successful, you need to learn how to be able to flex your style to match other people. This requires that you take a good hard look at how you operate. There are many different aspects to consider and we've built up a comprehensive syllabus to develop people in their influencing and political capability. A key element of this is establishing your preferred style and then learning how to become more flexible.

Natures Way

With years of life experience you have built up a preferred way of operating. From the school playground to the workplace you've been honing your natural way of getting what you want. Maybe along the way you've also learned about the value of integrity, and maybe been on a few courses to boost your skills. All of this learning provides you with our own apparently natural way of seeking to influence.

A colleague and I have managed to distill this down to four different dimensions of style which need to be considered when assessing your approach to influence. This is not all that is required, but I have seen some quite remarkable changes in people who have managed to work out exactly where they are on these dimensions, and started to think differently about how they interact with others as they seek to persuade and influence. The key dimensions are

Tact and Diplomacy
Determination and Dominance
Gravitas and Emotional Management
Sociability and Networking

How do you stack up in these areas? What I have found is that the most effective influencers, with the highest levels of integrity (oh, and still friends with everyone!) have managed to develop a delightful balance between these four dimensions. The behaviour that sits behind each of these appears to be natural, and they are able to flex their style to suit the situation and the people who they have to deal with. On one day they may be extremely determined and energetic while still keeping a big happy smile on their face. Other days they will appear to be very serious, standing up straight and holding their cards close to their chest. Whichever style is required, they adapt quite naturally.

Nurturing Your Influencing Style

Based on your initial perceptions of these dimensions, how do you think you measure up? Where do you think you are on these scales? Which do you think you need to work on to get greater balance? To help you develop, work through each of the questions below.

For each dimension, start by answering the following questions ...

When have I been exceptionally good at this?
Umm....the not so good?
Who is a good role model for this?
What exactly do they do in this regard?
What prevents me from being more like this?
How could I do this?

Now you've thought about the dimensions, let's start thinking about change ...

Over the last week, list 3 things (for each dimension) that you could have done differently.
What would have been the downside if you'd done these things?
What about the upside for each?
Could you see yourself doing this?
Go on - start to make it happen ...
Looking at the week ahead, what/who do you need to influence?
For each situation, which dimension would gain the most potential?
If you turn up the volume on that dimension, what reaction might you get?
How will you gain if you are successful?
You are going to do it - aren't you?

Okay, I know that there are many factors that may make it difficult for you to change, but from experience I know that awareness is a key part of the solution. So at the very least I would encourage you to dig out that personal development plan, reconsider it in the light of these dimensions and start to learn and develop to become more influential - you know it pays!

The Influence and Political Styles Quotient (the IPQ) is a unique psychometric tool which helps individuals and teams to diagnose their preferred influencing styles. This enables them to learn how to develop their style and also to understand how best to influence others. To find out more about the IPQ, click here.

Colin Gautrey -- author, coach, facilitator and noted expert in the practical use of power and influence in the workplace. Colin has coached top executives around the world, run workshops for international teams and always gets results. As an author, he has written several books and regularly appears on the conference stage on his specialist subject of power and influence. To find out more about his work visit him at www.siccg.com